it always surprises me when a friend who i didn't previously think of as homophobic tells me that it would make them "uncomfortable" or be "distracting" to be in an environment that was mostly gay - or even if just half of the population was queer - even being in that environment for as little as a week.

last night at open mic night, i had such a conversation with my friend. he was telling me about how his sister goes to smith college but is not a lesbian. he said he wouldn't be able to handle going there. he said if he were at a school that was half gay, it would be too "distracting" to learn. he added that it wasn't only the people who were gay, but they talked about gay stuff in lots of the courses.



keeping in mind that he studied astronomy, not political science, i still found his "distracting" comment disturbing. of course it would be distracting - when you grow up with privilege, loosing it even if for a day is... well, mind boggling. but in a good way, right? i mean, why not take off your privilege blinders and walk a mile in the other person's shoes, right? not that it's the same experience as actually being a minority, but at least you can get a slight clue, and it might be a gateway to deeper understanding. in my opinion, the world would be a far better place if everyone who is part of a racial, religious, or sexual majority was forced to step out of their privileged position in society for just one day and see what the world looks like when you're a minority.

i didn't try and disagree with him outright, but instead told about my experience as a white person attending a class at howard, a black university, and how instead of viewing my unusual racial minority status as "distracting" i viewed it as very educational - more so than any course i could ever take.

i had another convo like this with a straight female friend awhile back after i'd invited her to come to michigan womyn's music festival with me - a womyn only music event at which most goers are lesbians. she couldn't go, but later when i gave her a report of the event and told her that, if i had to guess, i'd say 90% of the women there were lesbians, she was shocked that i had asked her to go in the first place. "i would have been, like, the only straight girl there!" she said.

um, excuse me? in my world, 90% of the population is ALWAYS of an orientation other than my own - 365 days a year. don't you think you could try it for one week?

what's disturbing, i guess, is that a lot of my friends - including those who view themselves as "gay-friendly," they see their majority, privileged status as their enshrined right without ever even thinking twice about it. and, i have to ask this question: if we are not willing to give up our own privileged status for even a *day*, how can we ever hope to eradicate racism, sexism, or homophobia?